I'm getting agitated. I've been getting insomnia. Perhaps time is nearing the new semester. And that a few things have to be done prior to that start of it. It makes me keep thinking about those tasks. But  my mind just keep shutting off. Procrastination at its best.

I hate having the EXTRA time to think. The time you received is enough to think crazy stuffs, but getting more than you should get, is not good. There's always room for unnecessary regrets that you have long passed overdue and shoved away at the far corner of your skull. But it came back. Why? Cos my goddamn mind starts to string those stuffs back just to analyze and FIX me.

I can't deny I love my solitude. But i love it dearly through circumstances. Situations when i NEED inner balance and peace. Some place I need to reflect. But at times when I just want to spring back into the crowd, it's like, nothing there. Or maybe not yet. So I'm left just waiting for others to come. Or make a fool out of myself, getting attention, which I had pay a price for in the past. Now I'm left wondering...Am i just truly beyond being myself and my frequency is just off for other's hearing?? Oh...right....the pathetic case of the INFJ always being the one blending in with everyone's patterns and colours and has died trying being different. (Not that it's a deliberate choice).

Go figure.
Gosh I wish my mind would stop for a minute and let me forget about whatever I'm thinking right now.