I had no time to ponder for the past three months and i must say, I've pretty much forgotten from where and what I've came off from. Here i am now, couldn't look back because I've lost the track behind me, subconsciously, which is all the better for me for I don't get the sentimental gist out of it. In the other hand, I've got alot of things to look up to now that the June hols are here, and I'm back on a break, yet, again. But this time with more stuffs to do than just bore the shitzies out of my bum. (In other words, being idle. And if I'm idle, i would annoy the living daylights out of people around me; which is an inherent trait. Which, of course makes them want to tie me up on a chair and put tape over my mouth...)

I've got approximately two more months before I officially kick-start my career with MOE.!! It sounds very enticing as I try my very best not to succumb to the 'i-can't-wait-OMG-im-so-FUGGIN-excited' thoughts in my head. Other than that, I'm trying to get rid of the nagging hyperactivity off my mind by going out practically,and just burn the energy that's buzzing in my system like doing stuffs that require much PHYSICAL energy. My motor mind needs to shut off sometimes. It gets gayishly tiring.

Even as part of me wants to scrutinize every single detail of what's going around me, relatively speaking, I, have little doubt, that I can enjoy life without caring so much about the outside pressures now. It's much revelation. Experience teaches you lots of stuffs!

Yeah right.


Anyways, I'm still struggling (though not so badly now) to find the balance between my need for independence and the feeling to want to commit. Zima (A) wants to live life freely like a bird. Zima (B) wants to settle down and have someone loving to share life with. So whenever Zima (B) founds someone who could potentially be the one *and it's very hard for her to have feelings for anyone*, Zima (A) beat the crap out of Zima (B). When can A+B = <3 ?? Damn it.