The Deal with INFJs

I don't know what I'm feeling. Sympathy? Admiration? Curiousity? I didn't mean to. I'm just not sure if I want to go through this again.

What happens if you speed up and accelerate,not looking left or right? Get so excited to win the race, missed all the red flags(if any) .That's right, you crash and burn. And took a long time to recover. I don't want that to happen anymore!!


I decided that I should stop trying to deal with other people's emotions, either I take it or I don't. In other words, I should stop trying to understand WHY it got there in the first place. Because, let me explain this mental gymnastics..Due to me being an INFJ, I dwell too much into people's intentions and deeper feelings. That itself manifest my sleep. My poor badly needed sleep which my body is crying helplessly for. Not that I didnt want to leave the thoughts, I REALLY WANT TO. But part of me keeps insisting to hang on and solve the puzzle first before shutting my eyes out. And the bugger can't shut up! It's exhausting...


And even so, just by talking with random people too deeply drains me out. It's like as if I'm not supposed to be doing that without their conscious consent and adsorb too much that I lost my balance. So I push them away, and hide for a while. Sometimes if it's harder to handle, I will just ignore them. Not that I really intended to. But I felt like I knew too much when I dont really want to, like a piece of them STUCKED on me. 

They would have not remembered what they've told me, but I can remember those things for life. That is what scares me. Especially if I find it's happening too fast. Especially when I didn't asked for it to occur. Especially if I feel they are hoping that I would be there for them; is much scarier when you don't know if you are going to stay around or not.

Maybe perhaps the only way to make peace with my complexity is to just accept that my brain functions like a tangled ball of yarn, while sifting and straightening  the 'strings' out.