retrospection

Sometimes when you are ready to give, ready to love, ready to share, life threatens you to shut ourself up again. Because first, the people you have choosen to open up to, have decided not to give in, decided not to believe in themselves as much as you believed in them. And second, you'll end up with no more patience to keep hoping, believing,and you'll end up with disappointments..

Is it that we over-give or have we overlooked the person into our own ideals, hoping that they will see we really care in the first place? As much as i wanted them to feel i am always there for them, what about me then? Do i give what i think they deserve( the care and listening ear) and yet, feel nothing in return? What about how i feel,how i wanted things to be? Why do i end up caring so much..

Naturally people love to give is because of the natural karmic idea of helping..But i never thought it will make feel as if im being used for some people's advatages sometimes.., or i am some kind of replacement to fill in the void if they got nothing to do or no plans, etc. When does it seems like we are being too nice, or was i imagining things because of the threat i am facing right now, yanoe, like some sort of defense reaction. Maybe its an over-reaction, but i know it cant be because intuition always lead you to the right things.

Whatever it is, i don't want to think of a reason for me to stop caring for the people i begin to love and cherish right now. It got nothing to do with getting what's mine, but it got everything to do with what i have learnt from people's body language,etc.

xoxo

zimzim